re-solution

Well hello, 2011!  January is a month of beginnings, I guess.  This year I was adamant that I didn't want to make any resolutions--too easy to break them!  However, I was completely convicted when Timmy, our pastor, started talking about resolutions and how we can and should be filled with resolve towards becoming the people God wants us to be.  On Sunday, I felt like God was really speaking to me about the kind of person I could be--who he wants me to be.

I began reflecting on my previous resolutions:  "lose weight," "be good about sending out birthday cards," etc.  And I am reminded of my almost monthly resolutions to "get into the Word more," and to "eat better."  I came to the realization that I am completely unresolved towards being resolute!  I am completely undisciplined in so many areas of my life.  Instead of looking at my relationship with God and my relationship with myself as wonderful opportunities, I tend look at them like they are chores, which makes me feel like I should try to find ways out of committing time to them.  However, I've devised a plan...

For the month of January, I have decided to instill a "home-day" for myself.  Every Wednesday--check the date, it's the first Wednesday now--will be a day where I stay home, fast, spend time with the Lord, and do any of the house-work/online-work I need to get done.  Now, you're probably saying, "this doesn't sound like a joy-filled time... fasting?  How is that not a chore?"  Well, I have decided to find joy in my decision to fast from many of the things that fill my life--for one day a week.  It isn't something imposed by anyone or anything else; it's simply my choice.  My prayer through this experiment in commitment and discipline is that I might find joy in the things that are good for me, my body, and my soul. 

So much of my life is committed to serving idols:  food, money, pleasure.  At times I feel like all my efforts and focus are towards building the temporary things that make me temporarily happy.  Food is a quick fix when I need to deal with feelings, need a pick-me-up, or am bored.  Instead, I could be looking to God for the fulfillment I can only find in Him, or I could be investing in worthwhile relationships, or--eek--addressing the feelings that make me want to find satisfaction in a big bowl of ice cream.  Money is so seductive in its appeal:  as a young person, I need to save for my future, make smart investments, and work-work-work!  However, all of the security and enjoyment money can buy is only temporary.  So, while planning ahead and making wise choices with God's gifts is important, I can't let that motivation fuel my existence.  There has to be a balance, and I don't want to miss any more opportunities to bless those around me.  And lastly, pleasure... really all of the things I've already discussed are tied into pleasure, and I don't think pleasure is a bad thing.  God created it for a reason.  However, much of the credit for the pleasure I have is misplaced:  thank you hard work, husband, natural abilities.  No, thank YOU, LORD, for your unending grace to bless someone like me with the life I have.